Skip navigation

(513): i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later.

(512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

(323): The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
(1-323): Did you put it in the freezer again?

(780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I’m no longer surprised i’m single. I can’t even pleasure myself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: